G Marks The Spot
A woman’s body is a much splendoured thing, but it doesn’t half cause some mystery and confusion. In fact, the G-spot has become something of a Loch Ness-type myth in recent times, and for years opinion has been divided on whether women even have one… Well, until now, that is.
But first, the history lesson: The term “G-spot” was coined in 1981 after the German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who researched urethral stimulation in women in the 1940s, hit upon the elusive spot. The concept entered popular culture after the publication of The G Spot & Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality in 1982, but it was criticised immediately by leading gynecologists.
An anonymous questionnaire was distributed to 2,350 professional women in the United States and Canada with a subsequent 55% return rate. Of these respondents, 40% reported having a fluid release (ejaculation) at the moment of orgasm and 82% of the women who reported the sensitive area (Gräfenberg spot) also reported ejaculation with their orgasms. A number of variables were associated with this perceived existence of female ejaculation and many still poo-pooed the idea that it existed.
But now, praise the boudoir gods, as it’s official that the fabled G-spot actually exists. Doctors have even located the area with the help of biopsies and MRI scans.
However, confusion still reigns about the specifics of this wonder spot. There’s been some disagreement among boffins about its size and exact location; it may range from a quarter-inch to a couple of inches along the upper wall of your vagina, and is about an inch or two past your vaginal opening. Even experts who always believed in the G-spot weren’t sure whether it was a distinct gland or merely the collection of nerve endings extending from the underside of the clitoris.
Now though, it’s a truth largely acknowledged that the G-spot is a collection of nerve endings at the front of the vaginal wall. What’s more the clitoral orgasm and the vaginal orgasm are two entirely different things (although they can happen at the same time if you’re exceedingly fortunate).
Spot Of Gold
If you’re still in search of yours, it might be high time you stick Barry White on the iPod and prepare yourself for a mini-journey into enlightenment (and hopefully multiple yee-haws). Start by spreading your legs and bending your knees, so your vagina is open and accessible. With your palm facing up, insert two fingers inside yourself, pressing your fingertips against the centre of the upper vaginal wall. You should find an area that feels ridged, or slightly spongier than the tissue around it. Bingo. End of excavation.
Not as easy as that? Start thinking dirty thoughts, and the area should become enlarged as you become aroused. Still harder to find than a sheep in a snowstorm? Then you might need to call in outside help…
Sex therapist, Trish Murphy, advises that a G-spot search might be better done with someone else.
“It doesn’t surprise me when I hear women say they can’t find their own G-spot,” she says. “I don’t think it’s designed to be found by yourself it’s so awkwardly placed. Not only that, but intimacy is the one thing that most people are scared of, and to find your G-spot, you’ll need tons of it, as well as a lot of trust in the person who’s helping you in your search. Feeling comfortable is key to orgasms – that’s why so many women fake it when they’re having a one-night stand.”
So, once your man locates the spot, ask him to massage it in slow, gentle circles. Try different caresses, such as figure of eights or a rapid succession of pulses. The G-spot will only react to a fair amount of pressure, so you may want to ask him to press harder.
It’s thought that only 25% of woman tend to orgasm through penetrative sex. So, even if you have the most willing, able and dedicated of partners, mind-blowing G-spot orgasms are not always a foregone conclusion. What’s more, a trial-and-error period should be factored in; few people hit the G-spot jackpot on their first go.
“I say, take it lightheartedly and simply have a go at finding the G-spot,” suggests Trish. “If you can’t find it during sex, it’s not anyone’s fault. If you set it up as a big deal, you’re only going to feel pressure, and ultimately, disappointment.”
Yet the big question remains; how do you know if you’re having a G-spot orgasm? Often, you may feel as though you need to pee during sex, and this is because the G-spot is close to the urethra. Don’t worry; you won’t go mid-coitus, even if it does feel like it. What it does mean, however, is that you’re getting closer to achieving your first G-spot orgasm. What happens next is that you might feel a ‘warming feeling’ in the area, which starts to extend around your body. Position-wise, experts say that the cowgirl (you on top) is a safe bet; this way, your man’s penis is resting against your vaginal wall, enabling him to stimulate it during sex.
“Obviously there are positions that some people prefer over others, but if you really want to orgasm through sex, it’s a always a good idea to try the position where a man takes you from behind, as it gives him more access to the clitoris,” notes Trish.
And, of course, getting him to massage your clitoris during sex only strengthens your chances of having one of those elusive, combined clitoral and vaginal orgasms; effectively the Holly Grail for any thrill-seeking girl. So, try these tips now and you can thank us later… once your hands are free, of course.