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How To Be A Good Houseguest

In The Mag, Mate Manual, Your Life
15th November 2010

Buy Their Love

Never turn up to stay at someone’s house empty-handed. Whether it’s food,flowers, wine or something for the house, it doesn’t need to be expensive, it’s a gesture that counts. Haven’t a bean? Then bake something instead.

Keep Clean

You know how most hosts say; “make yourself  at home”? They don’t really mean it. Always make your bed, wash up after yourself and don’t take over their bathroom; your host doesn’t need to knowyou shed like a sheepdog and never close the lid on your toothpaste. Keep personal hygiene, eh, personal.

No Moan Zone 

Your pal has been nice enough to let you crash for nada so don’t expect hotel standards. You can’t send the food back, you can’t stipulate goose feather pillows and you certainly can’t order room service at 3am.

Be The Best Guest

Whether you wash the dishes, fix their laptop or show them how to make a mean lasagne, being someone who adds to the household, rather than just bleeds it dry, will make you the kind of guest people ask back.

House Rules

When in Rome, do as they do and follow the house rules – regardless of whether you agree with them. If they say prayers at mealtimes, recycle teabags, take their shoes off at the door and eat meat only onMondays, then so do you – for the duration of your stay at least. 

Be Independent

While you might be in a foreign town to hang with your mate, they have their own shiz to get on with. Accept that you may have to spend some time alone, and make yourself busy. Being under their feet all day will only shorten your welcome.

Never Outstay

If you’ve said you’ll be there two nights, don’t stay four. There’s nothing worse than stretching someone’s generosity too far. Even if you’ve agreed to stay longer, if you’re getting filthies from your host, take heed of the vibes and skedaddle.

Return The Favour

When you get home always send a thank you note and extend the offer to stay at your place in return. Even if you know your friend has no interest in sleeping in your pokey bedsit, again, it’s the gesture that counts.

Houseguests From Hell – Our readers’ horror stories

“An old friend stayed on our couch for an entire two weeks…and after just one night his stuff was everywhere. He basically took over our sitting room, then had the cheek to complain that the placewas messy. ” Catherine

“My roommate went away… and left me with his cousin who was over from America. He spent all day complaining he had no one to show him around. I ended up missing three days of work to babysithim.” Elaine

“I had a friend to stay one night… after we’d been out for a few drinks. She ended up scoring a guyin the pub and bringing him back to ours, then having really loud sex on my couch!” Sarah

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